Closeby to where I reside is a temple, which forms an important part of the community. It’s a sanctuary for hope and comfort, for yearning and reassurance. Deities are many and wishes are granted, or denied in mysterious ways, so the rituals go on and faith remains unblemished.

The above preamble in a way lays bare a bit of what I felt when I visited the temple for this assignment. I went with the idea of taking some pictures of devotees in a serene environment, worshiping their deities, mostly at peace with themselves. While the atmosphere was calm, I could not escape the countless expressions. Each face added to the potpourri of moods. While some were more pronounced, some were just blank. Many looked through me, so as to say, it’s not you we came to see. I tried to capture their minds through their gaze and their posture as my camera frame would let me.

For the shoot I used a Polaroid type Instant camera which uses a film size of 62 x 99mm/ISO 800. The camera had a 95mm Prime lens and a fixed aperture of f14. Despite all good intentions the camera started behaving in the most unpredictable way. Reading light and gaining focus was challenging and I had little control over these.

My first reaction was to put it aside and get my DSLR. Going digital and being technically perfect would have been easy, but my thoughts were far from that. This unpredictability added to the mythical feel of the atmosphere. I liked the surprise of using this peculiar camera. Its output could hardly be scripted precisely and sharply, and this was my way of being absorbed with what I was doing. I must confess, having the real image in my hand too helped me to maintain some semblance of visual coherence. I could feel the moment, and be connected. The bigger picture did not concern me, I was on my own unfeigned pathway.

The pictures I took are laid out intentionally. I open with the two women who look similar in many ways. They are flower vendors that form an integral part of the system, selling goodies to the devotees that should please the gods. The burden of acquiring as many worldly blessings lay heavily on their faces. It was customers they sought, not photographs. I could read it in their expressions

Then we look at the two men. I persist with the one in color which has a strong interplay of light on the face which creates a contrast. The side that has more light shows some disdain. While the man looks to step out of the frame, the parade of the Gods goes through him, symbolically as if, to pull him back. On the other hand the black & white is more forthright. Balance is maintained even though typical composition rules scream a bit. Other than his unnerving grin, or the smirk, the eyes with his specular highlights pierce past me and I feel the tension of his body.

The two photographs above give the viewer a sense of place, taken on a wider view point that helps anchor the story. These bring out the feel of the temple. I have intentionally created depth so that the viewer is invited to walk into the scenario presented. But as Karma has it, is it for humans to always be pretentious, that this woman would kneel with the Joss sticks lit for the gods and the monkey would sit at the altar to eat the flowers being offered?

I sign off with the image of the child pressing against her mother and a protective hand seen ever ready to snap her away from danger. The child’s clinching little hands and the piercing large eyes create a poignant frame within the picture. What so engrossed her innocent mind as she connects through my lens? I pale through my thoughts looking for an answer every time I look at this image.

Here I am wondering what these images will mean for someone? I am not really sure. The photographs are not straightforward, or a bit mucky on the technical side, yet this is intentional. My photographic interest lies within the realms of the imperfect. Ideally I would try to hold something back as a stimulus to the viewer, or break a rule to create some uneasiness. Does it work, once again, I don’t know.

As for this, here is me away from a tack sharp, perfect digital output using an edgy Polaroid, in my attempt to capture the natarrive of “Gods we came to see”, where I found nothing definitive.